Kissing the Cowboy (Circle B Ranch Book 5) Read online

  Hell no. Can’t do it.

  I wouldn’t have the willpower to stop myself if I gave in to those desires, so I couldn’t be the one to initiate a real kiss. I needed her to set the expectation. However, her little hums and moans were nearly my undoing. I hadn’t expected her to slide her tongue against mine, but the second she did, I couldn’t resist. The taste of her mingled with the smell of her shampoo was nearly my breaking point. It’s why I had to stop it.

  I let on as if it hadn’t affected me, and if I didn’t know any better, Harper looked slightly hurt. She thinks I can’t tell when she’s flustered, but I know everything about her. The way her eyes flutter when she’s trying to hide the crimson on her cheeks. The way her tongue slides between her lips when she’s anxious. How she continuously brushes strands of hair behind her ear when she’s nervous. I know all of her tells, even if she doesn’t realize it.

  Though I can only hope she doesn’t know mine because if so, she’d know how difficult it was to let her go. My body hardened against her soft skin, and if I hadn’t pushed her away, she would’ve felt just how much that kiss affected me.

  I haven’t stopped thinking about kissing her and how badly I want to do it again.

  For the past week, Harper and I have texted throughout the day and hung out at night when we were able. She has constantly quizzed me on our “relationship” to make sure I won’t screw up.

  During my morning break, I notice I have a text, but it’s not from Harper.

  Hadleigh: Hey, Romeo. Your future bride needs a ring for tonight. She’s a size 6. You’re welcome.

  Her passive-aggressive tone rings in my mind, and I shake my head. Hadleigh’s a no-bullshit kinda girl, which is probably why she fits in with the twins so well. She doesn’t let them treat her like a damsel in distress. Though she didn’t grow up on a ranch, she can hold her own when she needs to. Considering she’s a nurse who works on her feet for twelve hours straight, I have no doubt she could walk circles around every ranch hand.

  Ethan: Thanks for the heads-up. Where do you suggest I get one?

  Hadleigh: Try a jewelry store, cowboy. If you don’t wanna go to the one in town, San Angelo has a few.

  I roll my eyes at her response.

  Ethan: I’m on it. Thanks again, Barbie.

  I add that little nickname just to get under her skin.

  Hadleigh: A blonde joke, really? And after I helped you out!

  Ethan: You’re the one who started with the nicknames.

  Hadleigh: Just wait till you hear my next one.

  Ethan: Looking forward to it, Goldilocks.

  The dancing dots on the screen float away as if she’s given up, and I snicker. I shouldn’t give her a hard time, but sometimes, it’s just too easy.

  As I’m heading home for lunch, my mom calls me.

  “Hey, Ma. What’s up?”

  “Your sister is officially in labor!” I can tell she’s smiling wide. Her tone is filled with happiness.

  “Right now?” I ask, worried they’re going to tell me I need to come up there.

  Hadleigh was adamant that the shoot had to be done by tonight, so she’d have a week to edit the pictures. Since she’s not a professional photographer, she needs more time to figure it out. The conference is next weekend, and if Harper doesn’t have the images to show, the whole thing might be a bust.

  Or so they’ve told me.

  “Yep, you’re gonna meet your niece tonight. Isn’t that so exciting?”

  “Yeah, very. Tell Elle I’m wishing her the best, okay?”

  “I will, sweetie. I’ll call you as soon as you can come visit.”

  Since I have to find a ring, shower, and be dressed by five thirty, I ask Payton to cover for me and leave work early. Now that I’ll probably be going to the hospital at some point tonight, there’s no extra time to spare.

  I pull up to Harper’s at six and take a moment to gather myself. Tonight’s going to be a challenge, and even though my brain knows this isn’t real, my body doesn’t. I’m not sure what to expect or what Hadleigh will make us do, but whatever it is, I plan to just go with the flow. This is important to Harper, and I want to make it perfect for her.

  Including the very real and expensive engagement ring I bought.

  By the time I make my way to Harper’s porch, I realize Hadleigh’s already inside. The door swings open, and a bright-eyed and flawless Harper smiles wearing my favorite sundress of hers.

  “Wow,” I breathe out. “You’re gorgeous.”

  “Thanks. You dress up nice too, Cowboy.” She lowers her eyes down my body, then moves to the side so I can walk in.

  “Well, I’ll be damned…” Hadleigh smirks. “Y’all look like the real deal.”

  “Hope the photos do too,” Harper says nervously. I can tell she’s anxious, and the only way we’re going to make these engagement pictures seem legit is if she’s comfortable.

  “Can we have a minute in private?” I ask, studying Harper but speaking to Hadleigh.

  “Yeah, I’ll just go…in Harper’s room. Let me know when y’all are ready. Don’t take too long.”

  Once Hadleigh leaves, I turn toward Harper and grab her hand. “You’re actin’ like a frightened cat. What can I do to help you relax?”

  Heat rushes to her cheeks as she bites down on her bottom lip. She lowers her gaze as if she’s embarrassed.

  “Harp. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. Screw that Shayla chick and—”

  “It’s not that.” She swallows hard and finally meets my eyes. I wait for her to elaborate, but when she doesn’t, I take a step closer and cup her cheek.

  “Close your eyes,” I whisper.

  When she obliges, I slowly brush my lips against hers. She leans in, and her breath hitches as we move in sync. Her little whimpers encourage me to deepen the kiss, and when she parts her soft lips, I swipe my tongue between them.

  Harper tastes sweet and salty as if she’s been eating her favorite snack—peanut M&Ms mixed with buttery popcorn. The warmth of her breath brushes against my cheek as I move my mouth to her ear.

  “Better?” I whisper. My heart beats erratically. By her heavy breathing, she’s having a similar reaction. She was so uptight, I needed to do something to distract her so she’d calm down.

  She nods, keeping her eyes closed.

  “I don’t know why I’m so jittery about this,” she says, finally looking at me. “But I’ll feel a million times better after it’s over, and I won’t have to face Shayla again.”

  “It’ll be here and done with before we know it,” I say, though I secretly don’t want it to be. Right now is the only time I’ll ever be allowed to kiss her. “Oh, before we go, I have a surprise for you.”

  Putting unwanted space between us, I pull the velvet box from my pocket and hold it out for her.

  “What’s that?” she asks.

  “Hadleigh suggested it. We’ll need this to be believable, so I got you a ring.”

  I open it, and Harper’s eyes immediately widen in shock. “Oh my gosh. That’s the most beautiful fake engagement ring I’ve ever seen.”

  She slowly slides it over her left ring finger. “It’s so sparkly.”

  Hadleigh reappears from the hallway and eyes Harper’s hand. “You actually got one?” she states as if she’s impressed I listened. “Let me see.”

  Harper shows it off, which is what she’ll be expected to do at the event.

  “That’s some rock, Romeo,” she mocks.

  “Don’t the diamonds look real?” Harper asks.

  Hadleigh furrows her brows and tugs on Harper’s hand. She then shoots her gaze at me.

  “Yeah…they do,” Hadleigh states suspiciously, eyeing me as if she’s waiting for a confirmation.

  “It is,” I finally confess. I don’t want to deceive Harper, so I’d rather tell her now.

  “I knew it,” Hadleigh blurts out at the same time as Harper gasps.

  “What? You weren’t supposed to get a rea
l ring,” she scolds. “Why would you—?”

  “We can’t go to that event with a bubble gum ring. Either it’d blow the whole thing, or everyone would think I’m a cheap-ass fiancé. So I figured I’d buy one now and just return it later. No big deal.” I shrug, shoving the box into my pocket.

  “Ethan, you need to return this right away.” She takes it off and holds it toward me. “What if I lose it? Or break it or—”

  I take her hand and slide it back on her finger. “It’s fine. I trust you.”

  “Ethan.” She frowns.

  “C’mon, we gotta go before we lose sunlight.” I flash her a wink and lead her to the door.

  “I’m no pro, but I think these will be some amazing engagement pictures,” Hadleigh says as she scrolls through her camera.

  She’s put us in every cliché couple pose she found on Pinterest, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious to see them.

  “Alright, just a few more. The sun is level with the hills behind y’all, so these are going to look so romantic.” Hadleigh approaches us and shows us which position to get into next. “Kiss her forehead as she places her left hand on your chest. I’ll zoom in on the ring, and with the sunset in the background, it’ll be perfect.”

  It’s been almost an hour of this, but luckily, Harper’s relaxed, and all of her nervous energy has dissipated. The touching, kissing, gazing into each other’s eyes—it’s the most intimate thing I’ve ever experienced.

  And I hate that I can’t just confess how right it feels to be with her like this. Especially when she needs me as a friend right now.

  “Gorgeous! Love it. So good.” Hadleigh clicks a few more times, then tells us one more kissing photo. “The sunset between you two is almost orgasmic.”

  Harper bursts out laughing and scolds Hadleigh with a sharp glare. “You’re terrible.”

  “Ready? Get into position.”

  Though we’ve already kissed a dozen times tonight, it’s the way Harper’s currently looking at me that makes the blood rush down my body. She slowly licks her lips and waits for me to close the gap. Unable to help myself, I cup her face with one hand and lower the other down her back. She places her left hand on my chest but fists my shirt in her right, keeping us pressed together. Palming her ass, I know my erection’s digging into her stomach. There’s no way she can’t feel it, but neither of us moves.

  We’re breathless when Hadleigh says she’s done. Reluctantly, I release her lips and lean my forehead against hers.

  “Think your business peers will buy that?” I ask with a choked laugh.

  Before Harper can respond, Hadleigh comes toward us. “Pretty sure I just got pregnant from that one. Jesus. You two sure you’re just pretending?”

  Fuck.

  Blinking hard, I step back and scrub my hands over my face. Hadleigh’s given us shit about dating before, but she’s never been this blunt. By the expression on Harper’s face, though, it’s a regular conversation between them.

  My phone interrupts the awkward moment, and I find another text from my mom telling me to go see my sister before visiting hours end. She messaged me earlier when the baby arrived and said I could go after dinnertime, but that was a couple of hours ago.

  “We better go,” I tell Harper. “Elle might not forgive me if I don’t get up there.”

  I told Harper the news earlier, and she asked if she could join me.

  “You lovebirds go ahead. I have enough to keep me busy.” Hadleigh gives Harper a hug, then we rush to the truck. The hospital’s almost an hour away, so we’ll be lucky if we make it.

  “Thank you again for doing this,” Harper says on our way out of town. “It’s so silly, but when it comes to Shayla and her I’m so perfect attitude, I don’t always think so clearly.”

  I chuckle at her expression as she makes a face. “It’s fine. I’d rather you ask me than someone else anyway.”

  “Oh yeah? Is that why I haven’t had a date in like four years…” She cocks a brow. “You’ve scared all the single men away?”

  My jaw tightens at the thought of Harper with some guy. It’s not that she’s not allowed to date, but every time someone has shown interest, I was there to show them the door.

  Call it jealousy or being petty but my standards for who deserves Harper are damn high.

  I’ve blamed bad timing and us being busy with work, but now I’m out of excuses. I should just tell her, but I can’t when we’re supposed to act like an engaged couple. If there’s a chance she doesn’t want the same, it’ll fuck up next weekend’s plan.

  We make it to the hospital with only a half hour to spare.

  As soon as we walk in, Elle’s eyes light up.

  “Hey, brother. About time,” she scolds.

  “Sorry, I had some errands to run and lost track of time,” I say, then hope she doesn’t notice Harper’s and my matching outfits. Not sure I’ll be able to talk my way out of it. To avoid her questioning, I continue, “Good thing you had her before I leave next weekend.”

  “Where’re you goin’?” she asks, and I mentally slap myself. That was the worst thing I could’ve said.

  “Harper and I have a trip out of town planned,” I reply casually.

  Elle furrows her brows. “Where?”

  “Don’t worry about it, nosy,” I tease, and she rolls her eyes.

  “Can I see her?” Harper leans over Elle with a smile, thankfully changing the subject.

  “Of course. Let me just get her off the boob.”

  At my sister’s words, I turn to give her privacy.

  “Um…is that an engagement ring?” Elle blurts out, and I immediately spin around. Harper’s eyes widen in horror as her face turns red.

  “Oh my gosh, how embarrassing. I meant to take that off.”

  Shit. There’s no way Elle’s going to let me off the hook. Harper quickly shoves it into her pocket but remains quiet. As she takes Elisa, I walk over and meet the baby too. She looks so much like a Bishop already.

  Harper asks if I want to hold her. Right as I position Elisa into my arms, Harper’s phone goes off. She meets my eyes, then politely excuses herself.

  “You have thirty seconds to tell me what’s goin’ on,” Elle demands as soon as the door shuts. “And don’t bullshit me.”

  Yep, I knew it. I can’t lie to her either because she knows when I do.

  I hand Elisa over to Connor, who’s silently watching us.

  “If I tell you, there’s no telling Mom and Dad,” I say.

  “Fine,” she agrees.

  I stall for a moment before blurting it out. “We did an engagement photo shoot tonight. That’s why we were late, and that’s why she’s wearing a ring. But it’s fake.” Not the ring of course but I don’t tell her that. She doesn’t need to know all the details.

  Elle narrows her eyes as she crosses her arms. “A fake engagement shoot? What—”

  “I’m pretending to be her fiancé to help her out with something. It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you before we leave next weekend but until then, keep your mouth shut,” I demand. There’s no way I can explain everything right now.

  “Are you sure about this? Pretending to be engaged to your best friend, who you’re secretly in love with, sounds like a bad idea.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  I hate that my sister knows me so well, and if Harper wasn’t in the hallway, I’d argue that we are really just friends until I was blue in the face. But for the past five years, Elle’s given me a hard time about our friendship, so now is not the time to prove her right.

  “Though you’re a pain in my ass most days, I still love you and don’t want you to get hurt. The longer you guys keep up the façade, the longer you risk your heart.”

  “Don’t worry, sis. I’ve got it under control. Trust me,” I tell her, hoping it’s true.

  Before we can continue, Harper returns and apologizes for stepping out.

  We stay for a few more minutes, getting the unwanted details of the birth and
Elisa’s arrival, and then visiting hours are over. Elle makes me promise to text her later, but she’s gonna have to wait for details on another day.

  “I’m really sorry about that,” Harper says for the third time when I park in front of her cabin. “I can’t believe I forgot to take it off.”

  “Harper, relax.” I reach over and grab her hand. “I can handle my nosy sister. She won’t say anything.”

  “I know.” She nods with a half-smile. “I just hate that she probably thinks I’m a mess.”

  I scoff. “Trust me, she doesn’t.”

  She’s thinking what a fool I am for not admitting my feelings.

  As I walk Harper to her door, I pull her in for a hug and kiss her forehead. “This will all be over in about a week. Then you’ll finally be able to breathe again.”

  She looks up at me as if she wants to say something but doesn’t. Instead, she grins.

  “Good night, Harp. See ya tomorrow.”

  “Night.”

  As I walk to my truck, I hear Harper calling my name. “Ethan.”

  I spin around and meet her baby blues.

  “Whoever gets to be engaged to you for real is gonna be the luckiest woman in the world.”

  Chapter Ten

  HARPER

  I’m a wreck as I pack my shit for the conference. I’m worried Shayla will see through my lies or that I’ll fuck this up some other way, but I push the thoughts out of my mind because I need to stay focused.

  Considering we’ll be attending a nice dinner on Saturday night, I pack a sleek black dress and heels. For good measure, I throw a few sets of cute lingerie in my bag too. Not sure why I bought it, and I’m sure I won’t need it, but I fold it neatly and place it next to a couple other outfits anyway. I glance down at the ring on my finger and watch with a smile as it sparkles from the overhead light.