Kissing the Cowboy (Circle B Ranch Book 5) Read online

  That night, I do something I haven’t in months and meet my cousins at the pub. It’s family-owned, and I used to bartend here during school breaks and in the summer. It’s mostly low-key, which is nice when you need to lick your wounds.

  After the newspaper announcement, everyone’s been giving me shit, and of course, my sister gave me her two cents.

  Elizabeth: Well, that blew up in your face.

  Ethan: Thanks. I hadn’t noticed.

  Elizabeth: Sorry, bro. You need anything?

  Ethan: Nah. But thanks.

  That’s when I decided I’d rather drink the night away instead of thinking about it. For the past week, that’s all I’ve done. I keep replaying our night and the morning after, wondering what would’ve happened had I told her I couldn’t go back to being just friends. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted.

  Grayson, the twins, and Payton are talking at the bar. I’m half listening, too broken to give a shit about what they’re saying. It’s not until I hear the words “Is Harper really single?” from Luke’s mouth that has me paying attention.

  “Because if she is, I’m gonna ask her out. She was totally flirting with me the other day,” he continues.

  “Not sure that’s a good idea,” Kane tells him, looking over his shoulder at me. “She doesn’t date ranch hands,” he adds.

  “Why not?” Luke acts like he’s offended. “She too good for a cowboy?”

  Knox snort-laughs, shaking his head. “Nah. You’re just not the cowboy she wants. Ain’t that right, Ethan?”

  They turn their heads toward me.

  “Wrong actually.” I shrug, then take a sip of my beer. She doesn’t want me either.

  “Then that’s it. I’m askin’ her tomorrow,” Luke states confidently. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

  I could kick your fucking ass.

  Knowing I’ll do some stupid shit if he keeps talking about her, I decide to contribute to the conversation. “Actually, I think Hadleigh’s interested. I’ve been watchin’ the way she looks at you.”

  “Really?” Luke’s voice rises. What a fucking sissy.

  “Shut your goddamn mouth, pussy boy,” Kane snaps at me. “You’re lyin’.”

  I chuckle, amused at his dig. “Why the hell do you care?” I challenge.

  “Yeah?” Knox adds. “Haven’t you told me since birth y’all are just friends?”

  We all know better. He’s in love with Hadleigh, but she’s not pining after him the way he does her. You can see the pain written on his face when he looks at Knox.

  “We are. Doesn’t mean I wanna see her get hurt by some prick.”

  I smirk as I finish my beer and listen to them argue. At least they’re not on my case anymore.

  Just as I have my tenth drink, Connor walks in with a glare. Everyone else mostly left an hour ago, but I wasn’t ready to go then. I’m still not.

  “Hey, it’s Dr. VetDreamy!” I shout. He hates that nickname. My cousins gave it to him years ago before he and Elle were a couple.

  “Time to go. I’m driving,” he tells me, then signals to the bartender to close out my tab.

  “You don’t wanna stay for a drink?”

  “No, and your sister doesn’t want you drivin’.”

  I roll my eyes and grunt as he pays my bill. “She called me a DD?”

  “Yep. Now let’s go.”

  As I stumble toward his truck, I realize I’m drunker than I thought.

  “Sorry,” I say when he has to help me into the passenger side. “I didn’t mean to drink this much.”

  “Famous last words,” he mutters. “No puking. I just got it detailed.”

  As I press my face against the cool window, I’m brought back to the memories I’ve tried to forget.

  Harper’s lips. Sucking on her soft skin. Feeling her perky breasts in my mouth, squeezing her luscious ass I’ve admired more times than I can count, and remembering the way she came on my dick. Fuck. It’s torture. I wish I could erase it all from my mind.

  “So Elle tells me you’re going through some kind of heartbreak.”

  I snort at how Connor’s trying to start a conversation. I hadn’t told Elle the whole story, but it’d be easy to guess based on what she already knew. “Suppose you could say that.”

  “Not that you asked but I’m gonna give you some advice.”

  I shrug. Can’t get much worse than it is right now.

  “Don’t let her go without admitting everything. You’ll regret it otherwise.”

  I furrow my brows and try to focus on him the best I can in the dark. “That’s your big speech?”

  Connor grins. “Yep.”

  Pfft. “And what do you suggest I do when I tell her and she says she doesn’t feel the same?”

  “At least you’ll know. Then you can move on.”

  I don’t want to fucking move on. That’s the goddamn problem.

  “But if I do that…confess,” I say. “And if she doesn’t want what I want, I’ll lose her as a friend. If I don’t tell her, I lose the potential for more. So no matter what I do, I lose something.”

  “Yeah, that’s a tough situation. You just have to decide if it’s worth the risk or not.”

  After Connor drops me off and I thank him for the ride and his advice, I collapse on my bed fully clothed. My eyes are heavy, and I know I’m going to regret this in a few hours when my alarm goes off, but I grab my phone and quickly type out a text to Harper.

  Ethan: We need to talk tomorrow. It’s important.

  Before I see if she responds, my head hits the pillow, and I pass out.

  Chapter Sixteen

  HARPER

  “So, aside from the prank, I’ve been informed that not only are you engaged but you’re also engaged to Eldorado’s Hottest Bachelor.” My mom grins as I work on my display in the boutique. “Literally every customer has congratulated me on your upcoming nuptials. Mrs. Klein even asked when you were comin’ in to try on wedding dresses.”

  I groan with an eye roll. “Tell them we’re eloping. Maybe it’ll get them off our backs. Or better yet, tell them we’ve decided to postpone it. Not everyone gets hitched as soon as they’re engaged.” I huff, hating how everything blew up in my face.

  “I don’t think that’s going to be enough to stop the rumor mills. If anything, it’ll create drama that you two broke up or something.”

  She’s right. The only thing that travels faster than babies or engagements in this town is the news of a breakup.

  And we aren’t even dating.

  “Perhaps a billboard with big, bold letters WE WERE NEVER ENGAGED.”

  After finding out about the fake announcement, I knew I had to tell my parents before someone else did. However, by the time I made it there, they’d already gotten half a dozen calls and texts. Without telling them the whole truth, I glossed over the parts where Ethan and I faked our relationship all weekend and told them it was a prank from Shayla. Then of course I had to go into a whole lie about how I pranked her first, and she was getting me back.

  Mom was ready to call Charlene and give her a piece of her mind, and Dad volunteered to drive her to Dallas so she could do it in person.

  Once I calmed them down, I confirmed that Ethan and I are not engaged, and that we’ll have to somehow inform everyone. Though if it were that easy, Mom wouldn’t be getting phone calls from wedding planners already.

  I feel so guilty about all of this—my parents, the Bishops, getting Ethan involved—and even more so now that the whole town thinks we’re together. When I checked my phone this morning, I saw his text about us needing to talk. I’m not sure if it’s about the newspaper announcement or us sleeping together, but neither is a conversation I want to have.

  Once I’m done restocking the boutique, I hug Mom goodbye and drive home. Before I get my hands dirty, I decide to finally respond to Ethan.

  Harper: If you still wanna talk, you can come over tonight. I’ll just be making lotions.

  Ethan: Su
re. 7 okay?

  Harper: Works for me.

  Although it’s through text, I feel the tension. It’s never been an issue before, and I absolutely hate it.

  Though I’m nervous to hear what he has to say, I keep myself busy. I make more products for my online shop, take pictures and videos for social media, update my website, and even do some laundry. However, when it’s six, I realize I need to eat and tidy up so Ethan has a place to sit when he gets here.

  Seeing him has been in the back of my mind all day. This is the reason we’ve never crossed those unspoken boundaries before. We were good as best friends, and though I have feelings for him, it wasn’t worth jeopardizing our friendship. Especially since I’m not sure how he feels about me. Things might never be the same.

  “Knock, knock…” Ethan taps his knuckles on the door as he slowly opens it.

  “Come in,” I call out as I walk toward him. “Hey.” I grip the knob to open it wider.

  “Hey.”

  We stand and stare at each other, neither of us knowing if we should still hug. I already miss the warmth of his arms around me.

  “We can talk on the couch if that’s okay?” I ask as I walk toward the living room.

  “That works.”

  “Oh, do you want anything to drink first?” I spin around too fast, and he bumps into me. Ethan’s hands grip my arms to steady me, and I suck in a breath of surprise. “Sorry.”

  “You good?”

  I take a step back. “Yep.”

  “Beer, if you have it,” he replies.

  “You know I do,” I say lightly, hoping we can ease back to how we’ve always been.

  Once I grab him a bottle of Bud and a water for me, I meet him on the loveseat.

  “So how was work today?” I ask.

  At the same time, he asks, “How was your day?”

  We laugh, and it feels good.

  “You first,” he says, then takes a sip of his drink.

  “It was fine. Pretty busy, actually. Restocked the boutique and did the usual for my shop stuff.”

  He nods, inhaling half of his beer as if he’s nervous to say something he shouldn’t.

  “Mine was busy and chaotic as normal too. Got about five hundred texts and calls congratulating me on my engagement.”

  I swallow hard, ready to rip off the Band-Aid. “Yeah, my mom’s been getting flooded too. I’m thinking we better figure out what to do. People aren’t gonna forget about it, especially in this damn town.”

  “Grandma’s been on my ass all day.” He shrugs. “They’ll get over it eventually.”

  “I really am sorry for this.” I shake my head, disappointed in myself that I let Shayla, of all people, mess with me. “It was such a big mistake.”

  “Why? Is it that far-fetched that we’d be together?” he challenges.

  I stare at him, unmoving. “Huh?”

  “Was it so bad holding my hand, kissing me, and actin’ like a couple?”

  Blinking hard, I’m stunned by his comment. “What? I didn’t say that.”

  “You just said it was a big mistake, Harper. So make up your mind.”

  “W-why are you being so defensive? I was apologizing for getting you into this mess. For the inconvenience of having to explain to your family that it’s not real.”

  “Not real, huh?” Ethan sets down his beer, then stands. “Felt pretty fuckin’ real to me. Actually, kissing you was the realest thing I’ve ever felt. Guess it was one-sided, though.”

  I stand and match his anger. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

  “Maybe I’m just tired of keeping it to myself after all these years, but clearly, us being in a relationship is unbelievable to you.”

  “Don’t put words in my mouth, Ethan. I don’t know where this outburst is coming from, but us sleeping together has nothing to do with what Shayla did. She knew it would turn my life upside down. It still would’ve regardless of the status of our friendship.”

  “Then answer this…” His deep voice echoes, demanding my attention. “Do you feel anything for me? Did our night together mean anything to you? When we kissed, did you feel the spark ignite the way I did?”

  I gulp. I hadn’t expected these questions, and I’m not sure how to answer them. If I tell the truth, it could change everything. Am I ready for that?

  “Harper.”

  “I don’t know,” I reply.

  His face drops as if I punched him in the gut.

  The part of me that tells me to come to my senses is frozen in place.

  When I look up and meet his eyes, Ethan closes the space between us and cups my cheeks. Slowly, he brings his mouth down and brushes his lips against mine. I inhale sharply as a thousand butterflies invade my stomach, and my heart swells at the memory of what it was like having all of him.

  How can I deny this man, my best friend, who would do anything for me?

  How do I take the biggest risk of my life?

  Too soon, Ethan pulls away. “That’s the last time I’m going to kiss you.”

  Wait, what?

  “Uh…” I stutter out, my thoughts blank.

  “When you figure out the answers to my questions, you know where to find me. If you decide you do feel something, then you can show me. Until then, I’m staying away.”

  “Ethan…” I plead when he steps back. “This is the exact thing I wanted to avoid. You’re supposed to be my best friend. If we make things complicated between us, we could lose that.”

  “You have a decision to make then.”

  “Fine,” I blurt out in a panic. “I choose my friend.”

  He pinches his lips together as he holds my gaze. “Okay then.”

  His tone is anything but light. In fact, it’s filled with anger and resentment, and before I can say another word, he’s crossing the room toward the door.

  “Ethan, wait,” I beg, chasing after him.

  He stops but doesn’t turn around. I’ve never seen him this upset in my life. Sure, he’s gotten mad before, and we’ve had stupid, silly fights but never to this extent.

  “I can’t lose you,” I whisper, tears surfacing, but I push them back. “Why can’t we go back to the way things were?”

  He stands straighter, then bows his head. “Maybe because I’ve spent the last decade waiting for you. Though I tried to convince myself I was okay with being friends, it was all bullshit. Especially now when I know what it’s like to be with you, to kiss you, to feel you around me. I can’t just forget that and pretend it meant nothing.”

  I swallow hard at his confession as tears bubble over and slide down my cheeks. The words I want to say are on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t make myself speak. Even though he’s mad at me, we can get through this. We can find our way back to how things were.

  “I’m sorry,” I croak out just above a whisper.

  I’m not sure he hears me until he grinds out, “Me too.” Then he whips open the door and leaves.

  I watch as he stalks to his truck, not giving me a second glance as he hops in and speeds off.

  Once his taillights are no longer in view, I shut the door and make my way back to the couch. The tears don’t stop, and I feel worse than I did before.

  After our night together, I haven’t been able to get him out of my head, but I’ve been back and forth on what it meant to me. Our lifelong friendship should be more solid than falling between the sheets.

  The only person who knows Ethan and I slept together is Hadleigh. Since she knew what was going on, I felt comfortable confiding in her after I processed what happened. Of course she rubbed it in my face about how she knew it would happen. I had to tell her about what Shayla put in the newspaper, but she was well aware since it’s already spread around town.

  After texting with Hadleigh the following day, she invited herself over after work to talk some sense into me. My mind still isn’t made up on what the hell I should do, but she offered to bring tacos if I made the margaritas.

  Since I’m tired of bein
g stuck in my own head and love Mexican food, I agreed.

  “Alright, now that you’ve eaten three tacos and finished one drink, it’s time.” She smirks, and I pretend to have no clue what she’s referring to.

  “Let’s do pros and cons,” she suggests, and I groan at the idea. “Yep, we’re doing it. So, cons, I already know…” She lifts a finger and begins counting. “Your friendship could take a shit if the relationship doesn’t work out. That’s an obvious one. Um…his jeans are too tight and—”

  “Hadleigh!” I throw a pillow at her, nearly knocking her margarita on the floor. “His jeans are fine.”

  “I mean, if that’s your style,” she mutters as she licks the salt off the rim of her glass. “Anyway, what else? His family adores you, so that’s a non-issue. You literally know everything about him…that could be a con, nothing left to really learn about each other unless it involves handcuffs and a blindfold.” She waggles her brow, and I blush at the idea.

  “My heart,” I state. “I don’t know how I’d survive if things didn’t work out. Then let’s say, somehow, we remain friends afterward. How would I watch him be with someone else?”

  “You won’t. You’ll do the classic, ‘I’m moving away to pursue a career I never mentioned before, but in reality, it’s because I can’t stomach seeing the love of my life with another woman.’” She mocks my tone.

  “For starters, I don’t sound like that.”

  “But you know I’m right. It’s classic Hallmark. Girl gets dumped and suddenly has to fly home for Christmas because her aunt broke her leg, and that’s when she meets a new Romeo.”

  I scowl at the imagery.

  “See? You wouldn’t want to be with another man. You want Ethan. Just like you don’t want to see him with another woman.”

  “But what if—”