Kissing the Cowboy (Circle B Ranch Book 5) Page 13

  “Yes, ma’am.” I settle onto the bed and rest my arms behind my head.

  Harper swings her leg over and straddles me. She looks at me, silently asking for permission as she slowly inches down. A long sigh escapes her when I’m fully inside. I grab her hips, and soon, she picks up her pace and rides my cock hard and fast. Harper taking control like this is so fucking hot. I can’t take my eyes off her as her tits bounce in my face, tempting my mouth to suck on them. When I pinch her nipple, she hisses in pleasure. My other hand moves to her clit, and I rub the pad of my thumb over her.

  “Jesus, Harper,” I say, swallowing hard at the wave of emotions that roll through me. Getting this part of Harper is something I’ve thought about for way too long, and now that it’s actually happening, I can hardly believe it. “You feel so good.”

  “I’m so close again, holy shit.” Her head falls back as I increase the pressure on her clit.

  “Come on my cock, love. I wanna watch you.”

  Harper palms her breasts, and it’s so fuckin’ sexy. I dig my fingers into her hips, creating more friction before flipping her over.

  “Ethan!” she yelps as she clings to my shoulders. “I was almost there.”

  “Trust me.” I flash her a wink before moving her leg up higher.

  “Break me, Ethan,” she demands, tightening her hold on me.

  “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  HARPER

  Ethan kisses the softness of my neck and slams his cock deep inside me. I begin to unravel as I scratch my nails down his back. Though I’ve had a lot to drink, I’ve fantasized about this for as long as I can remember.

  My moans grow louder, and my breathing increases, but I don’t give two fucks that I’m being loud. The intense pleasure radiating through me is almost too much to handle.

  “Fuck, Harper. You’re so wet,” he whispers in my ear. “Your tight cunt feels too good.”

  Hearing him tell me how much he’s enjoying this only turns me on more. I’ve always wondered how sex would be with Ethan, and it’s better than I ever imagined. The way he can’t keep his hands and mouth off me and how he just knows my body better than I do have me tingling all over.

  “It’s because I want you, Ethan. I’ve always wanted you.”

  He meets my eyes. “Do you really mean that?”

  “I wouldn’t lie to you,” I tell him seriously. My body tenses as he picks up the pace, and my eyes flutter closed. “Yes...right there. I’m almost—”

  Before I can finish, Ethan quickly flips me over until I’m on all fours and pulls me to the edge of the bed. One strong hand steadies me, his thumb digging into my hips as the other rubs circles against my clit.

  My back arches, and I’m teetering on the edge as he teases me with his tip before pounding into me.

  “Oh God,” I shriek, my body begging to release as it slowly unravels. This man’s teasing is pure torture. I grab the comforter with my fists, spread my legs wider, and take all of him. “Please,” I beg, needing relief more than I need air.

  “Come with me, love,” he whispers in my hair.

  “As long as you come inside me,” I retort. He stiffens against my back. “I’m on birth control. I want all of you, Ethan.”

  “Fuck, Harper. You’re gonna be the end of me.”

  Moments later, every muscle tenses, and my orgasm nearly blinds me as it rushes through me. A guttural groan comes from my throat as my vision blurs.

  Seconds later, Ethan lets go, letting the orgasm rip through him. His body convulses as he groans, and it’s something I never want to forget.

  After we clean up, Ethan kisses me and holds me until I drift off to sleep. I let out a relaxed sigh, feeling safe and content. I’ve succumbed to Ethan’s kisses, and now I’ve had every part of him. Though we should talk about what just happened, I’m too tired to even form words.

  The following morning, the bright sun shines in and wakes me.

  “Ugh,” I say, wishing I would’ve closed the curtains before falling asleep. I sit up, realizing I’m completely naked, and pull the sheet above my breasts. Ethan’s still asleep, and my eyes go wide when I notice his bare ass. My heart gallops as I replay last night.

  For once, I don’t know what to say or how to even act around my best friend.

  Ethan rolls over and gives me a sleepy smile. “Everythin’ okay?”

  My stomach hurts, and I feel like total shit, plus I’m thirsty as hell. I lie back down and pull the covers over my head. “I have a horrible hangover.”

  Considering it’s hot under the blanket and we’re naked, I poke my head back out. My nerves are getting the best of me, and it’s obvious we need to talk about what happened last night, but I don’t know where to start.

  Ethan grabs his joggers, then puts them on before going to the bathroom.

  While he’s in there, I hurry and get dressed. Not knowing what he’s thinking right now is making my head pound harder. I search for some meds and realize just how stupid it was to take so many shots. Four would’ve been fine, not the amount—I lost count of how many—I had. I’m not a young, spry college freshman who can drink like a fish at a frat party anymore.

  The spinning of the room is a perfect example of that. Sure, I’ve had a few drinks here and there at the Circle B Saloon, but nothing like this.

  Ethan eventually comes out of the bathroom, almost fully dressed, and is eerily quiet. It has me worried about everything—our friendship, the future, and where we go from here. Though he’s my best friend, he’s also a man who can reject me. A lump forms in my throat because I feel like he’s regretting it all.

  Maybe last night—while it was amazing—was a mistake after all. Is that what Ethan thinks? I have too many questions swirling through my head. Most of them, I’m not sure I want the answers to.

  “Do you wanna talk about it?” I timidly ask, unsure of what he’ll say.

  He meets my eyes, then begins to pack. We do need to get going because we have a long drive ahead of us.

  “If you want,” he finally responds.

  Ethan’s not the type to ever push me into having a conversation, and I like to respect him the same. But I’m not sure we can push this under the rug, especially when it’s already this awkward between us. I need to make this right. Otherwise, it’s going to be a long-ass drive home.

  Five hours of silence and tension might make me lose it.

  “We were both drunk and got caught up pretending,” I offer, wondering if that’s what he wants to hear. I have no idea where his head or heart is, but Ethan nods in agreement. At the base of what happened, it’s the truth. We got carried away.

  “I don’t get drunk and fall into bed with just anyone,” I add.

  “I know that, Harper.” He zips up his duffel bag.

  I sigh, my head throbbing even harder. I feel deflated and stupid. “I don’t want you to think less of me after last night.”

  He stops what he’s doing and zeroes in on me. I wish I were a mind reader and knew exactly what he was thinking.

  “I would never think less of you. But you’re right. We just got caught up in the moment. All the fake fiancé stuff and alcohol didn’t help.”

  Placing my hand on my heart, I let out a relieved breath. “I’m sorry. I should’ve known better.”

  “It’s fine.” He offers a small smile, but I can’t tell if it’s forced or not. My mind spins, and horrible thoughts take over. I’m two seconds away from crying, but I don’t want to seem emotional or crazy. I just understand exactly what’s at stake right now—our friendship.

  “Please promise me that this won’t change anything between us. You’re my best friend, and I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. Can we go back to being friends? Pretty please?”

  He sits on the edge of the bed and slips on his boots. “I promise, Harper. We should probably get goin’.”

  It’s officially been five days since Ethan and I had mind-blowing sex, a
nd as much as I haven’t wanted things to change, they have. Each night when I close my eyes, I replay the way he looked at me and devoured me. I’ve never felt the way I did when we were together and wish I hadn’t said anything the day after, but now it’s too late. He’s avoiding me. And I don’t know if that’s because he really wished it didn’t happen or if what I said hurt him. Either way, I hate not seeing or talking to him.

  My skin still burns where he touched, and I can still feel him days after. It’s undeniable how my body responded to his and how we fit together like two long-lost puzzle pieces. For once, I was complete. Being with him felt right, but regardless, I’ve tried to erase the memory. Nothing that I do helps. It was undeniably the best sex I’ve ever had.

  I’ve tried to drown myself in my work, not that it’s too hard. There were plenty of orders to catch up on. All week, I’ve worked myself to exhaustion, hoping to fall asleep at night, but it hasn’t helped.

  The only person on my mind is Ethan.

  Our text conversations have been short. The tension is sharp, and I have no idea how to fix it or if it even can be. It sucks because I miss him so much.

  I miss him like I miss the sun during winter.

  I miss our stupid conversations throughout the day.

  I miss my best friend.

  As much as I didn’t want things to change, they did, and now I’m so damn lost without him. Unfortunately, there’s no going back. There’s no pretending it didn’t happen.

  Hadleigh texts me to check in when she can because she kinda knows what happened, but I have nothing new to report.

  This is a reminder as to why I’ve always suppressed my feelings when it came to him. One of my biggest fears was that we’d date and break up and then never speak again. If the only way to have Ethan Bishop forever was by being his friend, it was enough. I learned over the years to appreciate what we have, and I’ve always cherished it. Now that it’s gone, I realize how much of a mistake this weekend was. And it’s all my fault.

  I’ve found myself on more than one occasion scrolling through old text messages, wishing we could go back to the way we were before. Hell, even going back to pretending to be engaged is better than this. At least then we seemed happy.

  A text pops up, and for a second, I get my hopes up.

  Hadleigh: Going to the B&B with the twins to grab some food. Wanna join us?

  I check the time and realize it’s just after four, which means the dinner rush will be there.

  Harper: I’m gonna pass. I have a lot more to do.

  Hadleigh: Working so much isn’t healthy, and you still need to eat! Plus Maize made beef tips.

  It’s tempting, but I haven’t had an appetite since I got home and have used catching up on packaging as an excuse to be alone. Not that it’s a lie, but I’m still trying to process it all.

  Harper: Tell that to my customers who are pissed about not getting their goat soaps!

  Hadleigh sends me a goat emoji, and I laugh. It feels good. Foreign almost.

  Hadleigh: Okay then, your loss! I’ll just eat two plates for you.

  Harper: Sounds good. Let me know if you see Ethan there.

  Hadleigh: Will do.

  I go back to my small desk and finish gathering the order I was on. My mind wanders. Ethan’s treated me so well over the years, has had my back, and has been there for me. We’ve spent countless birthdays, holidays, and random nights together hanging out and watching movies.

  Ethan’s my other half, and right now, this hurts. Somehow, we’ll get past this, and in the end, hopefully our friendship will be stronger for it.

  At least I hope.

  Right now, working through the awkwardness and trying to get back to normal is all I can do, but I’m not giving up on us.

  Chapter Fifteen

  ETHAN

  It’s been a week since I woke up next to Harper after the most amazing night of my life. A night that quickly turned wrong the morning after.

  She pleaded to still be friends, that nothing would change, and because I didn’t want to lose her, I agreed. Though I was dying inside and wanted to ask how she thought that was going to be possible. How was I supposed to forget how it felt to be inside her? How my world turned upside down when she came on my dick? Kissing her felt real and passionate, yet I’m supposed to go back to just being friends?

  Not. Possible.

  Either she panicked because she regretted it or she panicked because the feelings aren’t mutual.

  Honestly, I’m not sure which is worse.

  We don’t talk like we used to, and anytime we do, it’s awkward and stilted. Though I want us to get back to where we were, my heart pounds every time I see her. I want to pull her into my arms and slide my lips across hers. I want to feel her warmth and hear her whisper my name as I get her off. And most of all, I want us back. Our traditions and fun banter. I miss our movie nights and the way she quoted dialogue from our favorites. I fucking miss my best friend.

  But I don’t know how to get over this awkwardness.

  Memories of us haunt me, and I have to jerk off in the shower just to relieve the ache she left. I wish I could ask her why she blew me off so fast, but then I’d have to admit how it nearly destroyed me. If what I feel is one-sided, I’ll deal with it—hell, it’s what I’ve been doing most of my adult life—but losing her friendship would be devastating.

  Though it’s Sunday and I’m usually off, I decide to go to the goat barn and check in with my employees. Since Grandpa and I had the discussion a month ago about adding more billy goats, we’ve hired three more ranch hands. It’s been nice since Knox and Kane were being pulled away to help their parents more, and it also means I don’t get stuck working fifteen-hour shifts. Now that it’s the first week of October, it’s smack dab in the middle of breeding season. We’ve already rented out a dozen billy goats but kept two to mate with our females.

  “Hey,” I greet Payton. “How’s it goin’?”

  “Not too bad. Got milkin’ and feedin’ done. Just cleaning up now and about to put DingDong in the pasture,” he tells me.

  I smirk at the name Kane came up with for one of the billy goats. After Knox made a comment about him being a devil with a huge dick, Kane suggested it, and well, it’s been quite fitting.

  “Y’all have been hustlin’. Nice work.”

  Just as I’m walking toward my office, I see Harper’s car pull up. I wait and watch as she grabs a large cooler, then stumbles when she sees me.

  “Hey,” she says.

  “Hey. What are you doin’ here?” I cross my arms.

  “Just grabbing my restock of milk. Since the demand is so high, I need to get more soap poured. Hadleigh is bringing Ivy this afternoon to come help. She’s young, so she’s cheap labor.”

  Since she buys it at wholesale prices, I just invoice her monthly, but she never gets it without me. So she’s avoiding me on purpose.

  “Oh. You want me to get it for you? I was on my way—”

  Before I can finish, we turn at tires speeding against gravel. Grandma Bishop’s Cadillac speeds up to the barn like a bat out of hell. I immediately think something’s happened when she storms out of the car and marches toward us with a newspaper.

  “Just the two people I was hopin’ to see,” she says with anger in her eyes. “Y’all care to explain this to me?”

  She shoves the Eldorado Gazelle in my hand, and I blink a couple of times as I narrow in on what she’s freaking out about.

  It’s a picture of Harper and me from the conference. We’re cheek to cheek as we smile at the camera. That’s not the issue, though. It’s the fact our photo is under Engagement Announcements.

  “Holy crap,” I breathe out, scrubbing a hand over my face.

  “What?” Harper comes over and leans in, scanning her eyes down the page. “Oh my gosh…”

  Grandma grabs Harper’s left hand and inspects it. “Where’s your ring?”

  “No, no, no…this—” I try to explain, but my throat
goes dry.

  “You’re engaged and didn’t tell your family first?” Grandma scolds. “My phone’s been ringing all mornin’, so y’all better start explainin’.”

  “We’re not,” I finally say. “This is just a prank.”

  “A prank? A prank?” Grandma lifts a brow as she scowls.

  “Y-yes. It’s probably one of my friends getting back at me,” Harper quickly confirms.

  “Right,” I add. “She really got ya good.”

  I force a laugh.

  “Hmph.” Grandma yanks the paper from my grip as if she’s not buying it. “Y’all better fix this because it’s already the talk of the town.”

  “We will,” I promise, knowing we’re in a world of trouble.

  She angrily storms to her car then speeds away.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your grandma that mad,” Harper whispers. “She hates me.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “This has to be Shayla’s doing. Why else would she do this, other than to get under my skin? Especially after the way we called her out at the dinner.” Harper’s face goes red with anger. “And I can’t even do anything about it because if I say something, she’ll know it was a lie.”

  “My guess is she already does. Probably why she did it,” I admit.

  “Well, I’m not gonna give her the satisfaction.”

  “We should probably contact the newspaper and have them run a disclaimer that the announcement was false.” I shrug. “That’s about all we can do besides telling everyone what we told Grandma.”

  Harper blows out a frustrated breath. “Okay. Thank you. And I’m sorry.”

  I want to ask her why she’s apologizing, why she’s avoiding me, why she’s being this way when she’s the one who said she didn’t want anything to change between us. But instead, I give her a nod and walk away.